You say goodbye,
I say hello.
Hello!
I've tried blogging before and although it was fun, I really ran out of things to talk about/write about/bore the world with.
BUT NOW...
I'm going back to college!
I went to the community college my first year out of high school and received an associate's degree, so it's not like this is all new to me. And it's not like I took years off either. I studied hard and got everything done for my AA in 14 months vs the typical 24 months. This past fall, I was going to attend school to become an elementary teacher and two weeks before the program started, I emailed my advisor and told her that teaching wasn't what I wanted to do. My heart was telling me no, and I couldn't deny my heart's desire. I think teaching is an AMAZING profession, and I have the deepest respect and love for my past educators... I learned so much from them and I feel like I spent more time with them then I have my family. But something about it just didn't make me feel content.
Thus started the nearly 6 month agonizing journey of figuring out my next step. At first, I just thought I would follow my boyfriend to school this fall like the head over heels fool I am (a few years and many fights later I still get butterflies every time I think about and look at him). I thought that I would be the one working while he went to school, and then someday down the line when he got into his career, I would stay home with our future children. I researched places to live, got a budget down, everything. Then I got it in my head that I wanted to become an esthetician and I visited the Aveda Institute. I thought this was a good fit because I could work as an esthetician while my boyfriend went to school and still follow the plan.
But a few things happened.
I found out that the program didn't start until April and would last all year, ruining the plan I had devised.
And I found out that my reliable, full-time job was going to turn into a part-time job because of the budget. Business is unfortunately business and it sucks when people get hurt because of it. At one point, a superior in the company said that I needed to "figure my life out" and at that moment I decided that instead of finding a second part-time job, I needed to find an entirely different job. I spent nights crying because I knew that my student loans from my associate's degree were nearing the end of their grace period, I had just signed my first cell phone contract a month earlier, and I wanted to work. I tried to stay positive through it but most days I couldn't. I can definitely see how people get really depressed after losing their jobs. I felt like I wasn't good enough.
I wasn't quite depressed, but I was desperate.
I asked a friend to invest in a homemade candle, soap, and natural product business I dreamed up. I googled "how to make money from home," "how to make money online" and everything like that. I signed up for those stupid survey sites that claim to pay you for surveys taken (they pay like 10 cents for a half hour survey...good luck living your life off of that). I scoured the local newspaper and the only thing they really hire for is factory work and certified nursing aide's. If you were to see me, you would know that I am not cut out for factory work and I probably wouldn't last a day. And to be a CNA, you have to have a degree/classes in nursing. So there went that.
I made a post on Facebook that simply said I was looking for work. From there, it's history. The past four months have been jam-packed full of greatness. The same day I accepted my current job was the day I felt like more than enough. It was weird, it was almost like I came out of a funk. I got ten times more confident and I really felt like I could take on the world. I did a lot of thinking that night and I knew that I needed to pursue my wildest dreams. A week later, I applied for admission for the College of Design at Iowa State University. Then, on March 13th (Friday the 13th!) I was checking my emails after work while waiting on my dinner, and I saw a congratulatory email and video. I cried and laughed and text my family in all caps with tons of exclamation points.
I am forever grateful for attending the "school of life" the past year. I've learned many many many valuable lessons and I am so lucky to have learned the value of handwork and the value of a dollar at such a young age. I also feel very "lucky" (really it's hard work) to be able to go back to school. I am glad I didn't get sucked into the black hole that is the real world, 9-5 cycle. I was always afraid of being put into a box. I'm claustrophobic. :)
Honestly, I don't think I will ever have my life "figured out." But that's definitely okay with me. Because of my major, I will have art and design all around me. I will explore different cultures. I will travel. I will be exposed to so many different people and ideas. I will have a place that is so intimate yet public when I share my creativity. I am pursuing a bachelor's degree in design and have plans to pursue a master's in Interior Design, but I might change my mind.
And that's fine by me.
Spread sunshine everywhere you go...
-Hannah
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